Alexandra’s Blog

March 31, 2006: I was waiting on my paycheck to come knowing that the full 1000.00 was not going to be in there. I would sit in my office and examine my paystub, having direct deposit. Watching the clock go by steadly reaching 10AM, others in the office were busy paying bills and thinking about a good weekend they were to have with family or friends. Of course, they had debts, but they had money at the end of the day and a peace of mind. I, on the other hand, watched shamelessly as the bank statement rolled up on the computer and witnessed money just disappear before I had a moment to spend it. $90 to Cash Central; $60 to CashnetUSA; another $90 to One Step and another $90 to Ten Dollar Payday Loan. Again, I slumped down in my chair and rubbed my weary eyes.

March 30, 2007:  Today was a pleasant day. Upon waking, I saw the sun was shinning and the pollen was freshly splashed all over my vehicle. I immediately went to my computer and checked my checking account. The entire $1000 plus an additional $100 was in my account. I checked to see what else had come in or what had went out but nothing was present. The full $1100 was there and had not been touched. I smiled with amazement for one year before, I was miserable. What a difference a year makes.

March 31, 2006: It was going to be another long day. Robbing Peter to pay Mary, Paul, Britney, Marvin etc.  I had to make three important stops. The first stop being to the payday loan places where I would pay money to reborrow so that I can pay the bills. I am miserable as I glanced at three hundred dollars disappear so fast and wondering how was I going to pay the phone bill again. Disappointed, I glanced at the lady at the counter and gave her my check again. This was a vicious cycle and was enduring it.

March 30, 2007: After leaving from work, I made the fifteen minute trip to Wal-Mart. The traffic was fierced today considering it was the last day of the month for most and payday for many of us. With three hundred and fifty dollars sitting comfortably in my recently purchased purse, I remembered to check my calendar where I had placed the necessary information on a post it note. Gently, I glided through traffic and made my way toward Walmart, the low price leader and probably the worst place to be on a Friday afternoon.

March 31, 2006: I glanced at Wal-Mart and saw how packed it was. It was Thursday and there people there. Shopping, snacking, enjoying themselves. I was wondering if I had the money to buy at least a pair of knee highs but I didn’t have not one dollar on me. Having just been paid, I was looking at an empty wallet because the money, or what was left, in my checking account, was going to pay more loans and still trying to find money to pay the phone bill. I passed by without glancing anymore.

March 30, 2007: I entered Wal-Mart’s parking lot bracing myself for the flood of people that were going to be there. And there was. People everywhere. Long lines, not too many clerks and of course, I had to go to the customer service department. It was the only place that I knew that had a MoneyGram center. A long line of people bringing back things such as toys, shoes and cashing checks stood before me. I grabbed two of the express pay sheets and filled them out. Today, despite the issues that I had, was going to be a good day.

I had come to Wal-Mart and to Money Gram to make two payments, two final payments to two different companies. Two different payday loan companies that have been my addiction for almost two years. With pen in hand, I made sure to write correctly the information necessary to complete the transaction. I gave them each their pay, which was agreed upon via a settlement offer earlier in the week.

Then I waited in line for what felt like only a few minutes but was actually twenty. Finally, I approached the clerk with a smile on my face. She said that I was the only person who actually had smiled at her today. She held a conversation with me as she sent the payments to Cash Central and to CashnetUSA to their respective areas. Once I was done, I felt complete. Two hundred dollars was gone but it was gone to paying off two debts that a year ago, I would have never paid.

As I walked out of Wal-Mart, I looked down in my purse, looking for my keys. I saw a twenty dollar bill, a ten dollar bill, and a five dollar bill. One year ago, I didn’t have a dollar let alone $35. It is amazing what a difference a year makes. I am blessed. Blessed because I decided in August to reach out and find help. Blessed to have a dollar in my purse. Blessed to be happy.

Then I decided to go home. Upon coming home, I realized that I hadn’t paid the phone bill and prompty went to the internet to pay it in full. As I watched the payment go through via the channels of the world wide web, I leaned back in my chair and felt a sense of relief come through me.

Then I decided to write in my blog.

March 31, 2006: As I took the drive home realizing that I still did not have money to pay the phone bill, I then began to realize that I hadn’t paid a bill that I promised I would pay the week before. Regretfully, I turned the car around and went to the loan company I had owed and gave them the money that I was going to use to pay for the phone bill. I then picked up the phone when I got home and asked MCI for an extension. I went to bed, crying asking God to get me out of this mess. And then I fell asleep knowing that the problems would still be there in the morning.