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Alexandra’s Blog » When You Fail, Over and Over and Over…

Alexandra’s Blog

April 15, 2007

When You Fail, Over and Over and Over…

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Uncategorized — Alexandra @ 2:19 am

I am taking this examination, has been since 2004. The first time I took, I understood why I failed it because I was struggling with debt and my mind was not on it like it should have been. The second time, I really studied for it and cried when I failed it. The third time that I took it, I failed.  The fourth time I took it, I had an injury the weekend before the examination and failed it. The fifth time I took it, I passed part of it.

So this time I went back to take the necessary parts thinking that this will be over with soon. Unfortunately, I failed again.

So I had a conversation with God asking him for guidance after I had yelled at Him for leading me to believe that I had passed it. Friday and Saturday have not been the best days for me. My self-esteem is low. My self-confidence and self-worth are gone. I feel so defeated. I am trying to pick myself back up but I feel so many downfalls.

Then, as if to add insult to injury, chances are I don’t know if I will have a job. I can see the impatience in my boss’s eyes with me. I was suppose to be gone by now but I can’t get through this damn examination. Plus, I don’t have the money to pay for the examination and a course to study by.

Since I have made God mad with me due to my insensitive comments testing my faith in him, I can’t blame Him if he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. This has been the loneliness period in my life. I really don’t know what to do.

Failing the next exam is not an option. If I fail this exam, I have to take the entire exam over again. More money out of my pocket.

I just feel defeated and don’t know where to turn. Any advice?

2 Comments »

  1. First of all, God isn’t mad at you,he loves you and wants the best for you! Matbe God is trying to get you to go in another direction,hence, not passing the test\? I had to take state board exams, so I know how you feel about the pressure. If you can borrow the money for the study guide and classes, that will be a big help. I am thouroughly convinced that is what helped me to pass. Say a prayer for God to help you calm down, and for you to study what you need for the test.Best of Luck!!..Karen

    Comment by Karen — April 24, 2007 @ 9:16 am

  2. I am trying to find contact information about MTE Financial and saw your post on a website. I seem to have a loan with them, not sure how….but they are debiting fees upon fees and I cannot find them to settle the debt…any ideas?
    thank you in advance
    Nancy-Ellen Martin
    Covington, Louisiana

    Comment by Nancy — June 7, 2007 @ 1:15 pm

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